I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
