I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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