yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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