what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
