i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
