I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I smell stomach acid.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
