Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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