I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize