Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
