So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
