Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize