Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
should my penis look like a turkey
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
