You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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