you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
