Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
