Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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