Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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