I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
