i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
is it fun? or sober?
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