I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
