yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
