you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
