love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
