Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Found your dick twin last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
