Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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