Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize