He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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