Someone shit on the floor
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
