I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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