I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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