He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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