I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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