But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
