Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize