What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
