like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
