Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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