8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize