Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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