I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
