some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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