Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
