I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just tell him i said nine months
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
