Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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