Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
