You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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