Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
