ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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