I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
