O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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