Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
