If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
