With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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