I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
