My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
