good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
