If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
