I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
