There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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